Of Rodents and Men

It's rats actually and me, a woman. Really, it's only one rat. I'm fairly certain of that.

It is living in our basement. It got in by chewing through the metal screen that covers the backs of the vents in the basement. He's (no female would be so pushy and crass) apparently a very determined little rat with very sharp and very tough teeth.

This wouldn't be a problem, except I don't know what he might be chewing on down there now that he can't get out of the basement. We put a much heavier screen over all of the vents. And I worry (yes, I really do) that he might die down there.

He is too big for the "Mice Cubes" that we have. They are made of clear plastic and have a one-way door that must close all the way to work. I am thinking that the wily little bas**** purposely left his tail in the door so he could back out after eating the peanuts I so thoughtfully shelled for him.

Last night we tried the bucket trick. You take a five gallon bucket, put some peanuts (thoughtfully shelled) and a small dish of water in the bottom so he won't starve or die of dehydration before you can let him loose. Then you put a piece of cardboard across the top that has a crease in it so it will fall into the bucket when the slightest weight is placed on it. You bait the cardboard with more peanuts; thoughtfully shelled. It seemed like a good trick.

When I checked the bucket this afternoon, fully expecting to find Mr. Rat, he was not there. All the water was gone as well as the peanuts. He is probably somewhere right now happily sleeping off the feast. Obviously, he is as good a leaper as he is a gnawer.

My husband wants to use one of those traps that goes snap and practically decapitates the poor thing. He says it's humane. He says that the rat will never know what hit him. He says that the rat is just going to die down there anyway. I say not so. Not if I keep feeding him peanuts and giving him water.

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